When people see the uniform, they often see the typical clerk. What they don’t always see is everything that comes with it or the woman behind the clerk in uniform.
I am a wife, a mother to my little Rosie Roo who has special educational needs (SEN), she is 6 year old and is non verbal and I am part of a blended family with two step kids Cody & Ammy. Like many military families, it’s not just my career, it shapes every aspect of our life.
The military has given me incredible opportunities, friendships and experiences that I will always be forever grateful for. It has taught me resilience, discipline and determination but behind every achievement has been a constant juggling act.
Being a SEN mum brings unique challenges. There are endless appointments, assessments, meetings, emotional highs and lows, and moments where you question whether you’re doing enough. Being part of a blended family adds another layer of responsibility, love and organisation, as we navigate family life while ensuring every one of the kids feels supported, valued and understood.
My husband also serves in the military and, like many military spouses, there have been periods where deployments and time away from home have meant that much of the day-to-day parenting has fallen to me. During those times, it can often feel like solo parenting and whilst being a SEN parent hits a little different. Balancing school runs, appointments, work commitments, household responsibilities and the emotional/physical needs of my daughter who can self harm quite a lot when she becomes dis regulated which is hard to handle, watching your child go through that is something that will always cut so deep but I have to do it while maintaining my own military career and this for sure has tested me in ways I never expected.
There have been days when I felt stretched in every direction, trying to give the best version of myself in my military career, as a mother, a wife and role model as I can be. Days where I wondered how I was going to fit everything in, yet those experiences have also shown me strengths I didn’t know I possessed.
For a long time, I believed I simply had to keep pushing through. Like many women, I put everyone else’s needs before my own. Family came first. Work came first. Everything came first.
Until I realised that if I wasn’t looking after myself, I couldn’t give my best to the people who needed me most.
Fitness became more than physical training. It became my outlet. Running gave me space to think. Strength training gave me confidence, exercise became something that belonged to me in a life where so much of my time belonged to everyone else.
What I discovered along the way was that I wasn’t alone.
There were other military women facing similar challenges. Women balancing careers, motherhood, caring responsibilities, deployments, self-doubt and the pressure to be everything to everyone. Many of us are struggling quietly, believing we had to figure it all out ourselves.
That realisation inspired me to start building a community where women could support one another. This is not because we needed fixing, but because we needed connection, like minded women who were going through similar life’s. Realising we really aren’t alone and life isn’t always what it seems on the outside.
I also decided to start a social voluntary women only run group called Roo&Bloom the conversations and shared experiences, I’ve seen first-hand the power of women supporting women. I’ve watched confidence grow, friendships form and these girls achieve things they never thought possible. Some turned up never having never run and smashed out a 5k sometimes I don’t think they understand how amazing that is and how amazing they are.
Creating these spaces has become one of the most rewarding parts of my journey. It reminds me that strength isn’t just about physical performance. It’s about showing up, lifting others up, and creating opportunities for people to thrive. I will always be the woman to give another woman the mic and not guard it from her!
Military life can be demanding. Motherhood can be challenging. Being a military wife, a SEN parent and part of a blended family can sometimes feel overwhelming but I’ve learned that asking for support isn’t weakness and looking after yourself isn’t selfish.
It’s essential.
My story is still being written. There are still challenges, goals and obstacles ahead, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that we achieve more when we support one another.
My hope is that when other women well also even the men too right? I hope when they read this, they recognise a little of themselves in my story. Whether you’re a serving soldier, a military spouse, a mam, a dad, a carer, or simply someone trying to juggle life’s many demands, know that you don’t have to do it alone.
Behind every uniform is a person with a story. A mother. A wife. A dad. A teammate. A supporter. A LEGEND!
This is mine. I can’t wait for the next chapter!
HARD TARGET JOURNAL CONTRIBUTOR
Written by: Shauna Harris
British Army Staff Support Personnel passionate about showing that strength comes in many forms, wether that’s our bodies, minds and the way we lift others up
Instagram: @shaunaharris_fitness
TikTok: @shauna_harrisfitness
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